Sartorial wisdom

These are English made Crockett and Jones dress boots.

Men should buy nice dress shoes.

99% of dress shoes are made with correct grain leather, which means it is crappy leather that is sanded down and then printed with a grain. Painted essentially.

The uppers are glued to the soles.

Good dress shoes are made with full grain leather. When they get scratched, they can be polished back into shape much better than cheap leather.

When the soles wear down, they can be resoled.

High quality mens shoes can last a lifetime.

Yes, it is calf skin, and evil and all. What is worse though, killing one calf and wearing his ass for decades, or killing a new cow every season because your shitty shoes fell apart?

For a while, a suit+chucks was cool. Then Ben Stein did it. Back to leather for me.

Sadness

Starbucks finally misspelled my name.

Expelled

Okay, I'm sitting in the back row, a bunch of silver heads in front of me.

Nazis in opening credits.

Ben Stein as rocky.

Irony, freedom being taken away, but Expelled in 1000 theatres.

Compares scientist to Kruschev.
7:23:37 PM

7:28:52 PM
Dramatic music.

7:29:16 PM
Random scene from planet of the apes.

7:37:40 PM
Note to self, avoid Biola University.

7:40:25 PM
And southwestern theological seminary.

7:46:38 PM
Dimly lit dawkins and ominous music.

7:53:11 PM
God of the gaps

7:53:19 PM
Panspermia

7:54:35 PM
Misstates darwins ideas about the cell.

7:56:25 PM
Scene stolen from harvard

8:00:03 PM
Scientists must be "good comrades"

8:06:26 PM
Reporters need to take a balanced approach.

8:10:28 PM
I'd vs evolution equals religious cold war

8:17:57 PM
All evolutionists are nihilistic.

8:21:03 PM
Lennon copyright infringement

8:22:04 PM
Mein kampf = origin of species

8:27:08 PM
From darwin to hitler

8:32:12 PM
Euthanasia and abortion are required by darwinism

8:35:37 PM
I need a drink

8:36:35 PM
Somehow, again, us =east germany because of censorship of I'd, but here I'm watching a movie about it.

8:43:01 PM
Steins final confrontation with Dawkins (vader)

8:49:26 PM
Bertrand russell pwns

8:52:32 PM
Finally over

Sorry for typos, will fix later

I'm going vegan.

But not until after I've eaten one of every animal species.

Funny thing

I was in a computer lab, next to a girl who had a samsung blackjack, which is a pda phone running Microsofts OS. It is supposed to have calendar, todo lists...general pda features.

The thing is, she had a stack of little postit notes stuck to the screen. Like she had to write down all her reminders, because she didn't trust the phone. It became merely a postit note holder.

Why get a smartphone, and then use none of the features?

Well, probably because mickysofts os sucks.

I certainly love my blackberry. I think the iphone is decent to, but as usual MS is horrible.

JAPAN

I'll be in Japan from 6/19 to 7/9. In Tokyo, I'll be staying at the hostel K's House, and I think I'll try to hit hostels, minshuku, and shukubo around the country.

I think it will be an awesome trip. I hope I meet some cool people to party with at hostels, and wherever I go. I should probably do the first few days in Tokyo and the last few.

I'd love any advice!

What you can expect.

The next woman who takes me on is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars.

edit:
that is from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" he was referring to his electroshock therapy.

Another short summary

This week has been very busy.

Monday, I think I did brazilian jiu jitsu, and hurt my ribs. Can't recall what else, except I know I completed some Stats homework.

Tuesday I went to muay thai, not knowing how hurt I was. Ended up bleeding from my knee, and developing a huge blister on my toe. Then I went to the Villa Park city council to speak against another "In God We Trust" motto. A bunch of friends went along. The meeting was a mindfuck, I still can't describe it. We didn't win, but we scared some people. Afterward I talk 4 people into going to Honda Ya, which is a favorite restaurant. Ate crazy stuff. Chicken hearts, eel, herring (head and all,) natto...I will eat anything, and everyone there had a good time I think.

Wednesday I felt tired, but I had to scramble to finish my Math 6b homework. I didn't. After that class I met with David Fitzgerald who is involved in San Francisco Atheists and the Garrison Martineau project. He was there to moderate a civil dialog between AAR and a Christian group called Stands to Reason. He bought me a pitcher of beer. Really cool guy. We had our AAR meeting and then we went on to this civil dialog. It went off really well, people just talking about how they came to believe what they do about metaphysics. A lot of people hung out afterward and chatted, no one convinced anyone, but at least they were educated on the arguments, and they weren't young-earth creationists or anything.

Thursday -- I don't remember much. I think I skipped muay thai. I finally got things together around 4:30pm. Then I checked my email and there was a note from UCLA about my provisional financial aid award. My first thought was, "What the fuck? I didn't get in to UCLA."

Looking back on my post in December...

• Berkeley - Cognitive Science "Decisions will be available 4/30"
  
• Davis - Linguistics or Science and Tech Studies Accepted
  
• Irvine - Informatics or Earth and Environmental Science Accepted in History :/
  
• Los Angeles - Cognitive Science (Pre) or History (Pre) Accepted in Cog Sci!!!!
  
• San Diego - Cognitive Science or Linguistics - Cognition and Language No word.
  
• Santa Barbara - Psychology or History They asked me to call them, and I didn't bother
  
• Santa Cruz - Linguistics - Computation or Classical Studies. Rejected!
  

Well, my top choice accepted me, despite me fucking up in math.

Actually, it still makes sense, even though I convinced myself they wouldn't take me.

My GPA was a 3.64, and I will only have about 17 courses to complete to finish the major. Of course that only puts me at 160 units, I need 180 to graduate.

Anyhow I SIRd, I applied for housing, parking, I sent my Saddleback transcript.

I was just getting accustomed to the idea of staying at UCI, and I have a lot of good friends there now that I will miss, but I believe that this is the best move for me.

I'm now awake at 3am, because I have a Stats midterm tomorrow. I should be fine, but I had to finish some work to prepare, and I took about 4 shots of espresso to get there.

Speaking of friends, I flaked out on a poker night so I could study. I simply have to pass Stats to get anywhere.

On Thursday I had a bit of a stressful event, where I was afraid I might hurt a very good persons feelings --all I'll say on that.

Today I also emailed UCLA to try to see if I can drop the one class I'm taking at UCI. Hopefully if they reply in the affirmative I'll be rid of one source of stress.

Yeah, so that's the short summary.

Yesterday

I had a pretty busy day yesterday, but I'm too tired to really describe it, so I'll do my best, and flesh it out later.

Recall that I finished my Brazilian jiu jitsu class at 9:30 Monday, and spent most of the class rolling with a 260lb greco wrestler. He was able to teach me some good things, but his closed guard was pretty tight and I woke up with my ribs hurting badly.

Still, I was not that tired overall, so I went to muay thai at noon. Well that class went fine until we split in to groups, and when it was my turn to work the bag, I threw a knee and then one of my partners said, "your knee is bleeding."

I got a tiny scrape the night before which opened, and a nearly comical amount of blood was pooring down my calf. So I had to stop and fortunately was able to stop the bleeding. I also got blisters on both big toes during this time.

So it took me about 30 minutes after the class finished at 1:15 just to drag my ass to the car.

Then I went over to Mitsuwa to the travel agency there, JTB. Actually I got some ramen first.

They had a direct flight on Korean Airlines at about $1080 plus 560 for the rail pass, so I bought it. That all took 2 hours, and then I headed to UCI. On the way I got a call from a friend, and we met at the pub.

Then we headed over to meet at the flagpoles. And from there headed out to Villa Park. The 55 was not so bad once I got to the car pool lane.

Met up with some more people. Not a huge contingent but there ended up being 15ish who spoke against the "In God We Trust" motion, and perhaps 3 in favor.

Of course the council was in favor, but they were a bit dumb struck by the response, and they came up with a "compromise" which I haven't the mental energy to describe at present.

After that, I talked 4 of the AAR people to come to Honda Ya with me and try all the unusual yakitori. We had a great time, some good food, and apparently some had a bit too much sake, because someone left their laptop in my car. I still don't know who, but I'm sure they shall present them self soon.

Anyhow, I'm sure l left a hundred things out, but I have a bunch of Boolean Algebra homework to do, and I'm really tired. I just wanted to put down the outline before I forget things. Aspects of the day were a bit dream-like, so memories may fade quickly.

Japan this summer

I'm planning to go to Japan for about three weeks this summer. I have a year of Japanese which isn't much for a true American with no other foreign language experience.

So I'll probably spend a couple of days in Tokyo, where there a good number of English speakers. Try to get my brain working in Japanese.

Then I'll head around the country on a J-Rail pass. See as much as I can, and spend the last 5 days or so in Tokyo.

My budget is about:

$1000-1200 for Air fair

$560 for rail pass (which is actually a bargain)

$65-100 a day for lodging and food

• $20-45 for hostel, capsule, cheap accomodations
• $30 for food

I think I'll also budget $500-750 for gadgets that you can't get outside Japan.

So $3425-4750 max. I can swing it. I'm kind of hoping to hook up with some rich Yakuza and have them buy me food and drinks, but you can't plan on that. Maybe some of the locals will offer me lodging. Dunno.

I haven't really had a full summer off in a decade, and yeah, no one is entitled to that, but I'm going to take advantage.

Still working on the plan. I'll go to Mitsuwa some time, they have a travel agency, and they might offer cheaper flights.

Inspirational Bible Quote

1 Corinthians, Chapter 11

¹ Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.

² Now I praise you, brethren, that ye remember me in all things, and keep the ordinances, as I delivered them to you.

³ But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

⁴ Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head.

⁵ But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.

⁶ For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.

⁷ For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.

⁸ For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.

⁹ Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

So, women have only two choices: cover your hair or go bald.

Who is it?

Finally, proof that I have a brain.

I knew it, and I suppose the fact that I knew it is evidence enough.

In the profile view, my nose is smashed down a bit. My head and nose were too large for the machine.

Leaving the gym

The camera is not out of focus, I was actually blurry.

"The art we remember is the art that torments us."

Cost of Iraq war

I'm not sure I agree that the US should spend large sums of money on manned space exploration. All the Apollo missions were sort of "match this commies" penis measuring contests. I don't see a lot of science being done on ISS, etc. I'd rather we built more space observatories. Maybe just save the money instead.

Then I read this site.

I think we could do so much better than investing in this insane Iraq war. I still wonder if maybe there is just no way to avoid getting entangled in the insanity in the middle east. Iraq was not the place to go. That much is clear.

We've now spent over half a TREEEELION dollars in Iraq.

Captain Kirk could have fucked twelve Martians by now on that kind of cheese.

Oh well, who the fuck knows.

Hand wraps

I do a sort of Thai style wrap.
Start with a nice stack of folded wrap perhaps 8 layers thick and set it on top of your knuckles. Then go around the stack and under your palm. This is the trickiest part, you want it tight but tightening it moves the stack off your knuckles.

Then down around your wrist a couple times, then go up over the top and around your ring finger. Come back down the opposite side of your wrist. Then go up over the top between your index and middle, then back down over the top around the opposite side of your wrist.

Go around your wrist a couple times, then up around the knuckles once.

Back to the wrist, down well past the joint, then back to the joint and wrap until you secure the velcro.

I'm sure none of that made sense, but it helped fix it in my mind.

Also, sometimes I go around the middle finger too.

Women

I've had two women in as many weeks who gave me enough information to contact them, and then when I actually did contact them, they freaked the fuck out and became abusive within about 5 lines of dialog.
There is a reason I always ask, "Are you single?" When I hit on a woman.

I don't want to make you feel like a slut for thinking about me when you have a boyfriend. I don't want to break up a good relationship.

Any pretense about the reason, I've approached you should be gone, and if you aren't interested, tell me then. If you have a boyfriend you aren't too sure about, and you give me your number, don't get mad when I call.

Don't give me your number and then get angry when I call/txt. That's a good rule. I usually hit on completely sober women too, so there's no excuse there.

That's just crazy behavior.

Oh, and my web logs tell me who is visiting this site and from what city. So if the same person is visiting again and again from - hypothetically - Torrance, CA, I am going to do a little googling to see who it is.

What is really bizarre is this- I know I'm not trying to hit out of my league. These girls are not as good looking as women who actually have gone out with me before. Shouldn't they be eager to return my call?

I guess they'd rather stick with a d-bag who they know will be loyal than take their chances with a more attractive man. Frankly, that is bullshit. I'm not a player, not even close.

Oh well, all I can do is keep trying. I'm starting to feel like I've hit on every decent looking woman at UC Irvine (there are about 8 of them.) That is just bitterness though. Keep trying- all I can do. Ascetic monk is appealing though.

You are teh lose.

Some people can't live without spell check.

This is what they were protesting

And it was the Irvine Barclay. Segerstrom is over by SCP. Dunno how I mixed them up.

(Yes I probably need to rotate the image. )

Gatsby's conundrum

The dog found one Budweiser can, and after walking about ten feet, he dropped it and dragged me to another one ten feet further.

After picking that one up, he walked back to the original can, dropped the one in his mouth, and picked it up again.

He went through a couple iterations of this before settling on one of the cans. In the end, I think he made the right decision.

My noggin'

I got my noggin fMRI'd today. I really do have a brain! I saw a picture of it. The postdoc who did the scan gave me her email, and said she could send me an image.

The machine was slightly uncomfortable, but I think my head may be a bit on the large side.

Protest at Segerstrom Hall

I don't know what was going on inside tonight, but outside there were about 30 people hatin' China.
About 3 news crews too.

I'm tired

Today feels like it has a bunch of extra hours.

Hitchens on Orwell

"The remarkable thing about Orwell is this- he's not a genius. He lived only 46 years, he never went to university, he never had a steady job, he usually didn't have a steady publisher, but he will never be forgotten because he managed to disprove imperialism, Stalinism, and fascism in one lifetime and make some imperishable raids on its territory that no one is ever going to forget--all of the time ill, all of the time poor.
It shows how much difference a person of really average intelligence, integrity and education can make, if they have a little courage, and a little intellectual honesty."

Breakfast

Mmmm...

My cousin

My eldest cousin recently died of bladder cancer at the age of 48. He left behind two daughters.

He was ill for some time, knew he had a terminal prognosis.

I'm the youngest of all my cousins. In fact I have second cousins who are nearly my age, and one of them is married.

Anyhow, he spent the last year of his life trying to put things in order so that the void he left would not be filled with chaos.

I didn't know him well, but I think he was a bright, kind, and flawed man.

His main hobby in his later years was turning burls of wood into bowls and things like that. They are really beautiful to me. They display careful workmanship and organic chaotic beauty. I understand that his ashes are contained in an urn he made.

His daughter gave one of them to my father. It is pictured here.

Project Implicit

Project Implicit

This is damned interesting stuff. You don't know your own mind. This project (run out of Harvard) has a number of tests that will prove it to you.

Hamstrung

In addition to my mental challenges, my hamstrings are tight as hell. I really need to stretch every day. Oddly, I can kick pretty high and hard. I think if I could resolve these hamstring issues, I'd have a hell of a headkick.

Strain

I feel like I'm pretending to be a human being.

Everyone else seems to have the capacity to accept social norms as though they are natural laws. I can't. I do observe that this capacity seems to ease the social interactions of more normal people.

I want to achieve this, at least I sometimes do. So I try to turn off the voice that says, "Why do things this way?"

Hemingway said, "An intelligent man must sometimes drink, so that he may tolerate his friends." His life didn't end up so well. Just a lot of misery and posthumous esteem that he probably wouldn't care for.

So I want to develop a persona that tells people, "I'm different, and it's okay."

Pretending I'm like other people is just going to wear me down. Although I also wonder if the problem is that I'm still just guessing at what "normal" behavior is. In that case I should develop a persona that makes people comfortable talking about themselves, so that I can learn more about them, and hopefully what they expect from me.

So... dealing with other human beings is rather like plotting the invasion of Normandy for me.

Anyhow, I may have committed a social blunder this week. I have to decide if I care. I don't care, but maybe I should try to?

Well, this thought is unraveling, and I don't know any way forward, so I'm going to keep going as I have been, until this narrative finds its end.

My passionate sense of social justice and social responsibility has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced lack of need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities.

- Albert Einstein, The World As I See It (1949)

My brain(s)

Looks like I'll be a subject in some type of study utilizing an fMRI next week.

I don't know what kind of research, and I kind of doubt they'll tell me. However, I suppose if they find something horrible like a tumor shaped like the Jolly Roger on the evilness center of my brain, they will mention that.

Artist wanted

Looking for an artist!

I'm looking for someone to design a business card for me. I intend to have the cards made with a laser-cutter out of flourescent plastic. Example pictured:

I don't actually have a business, I'm a poor student. I just want a cool piece of original art I can give to people. All it needs on it is:

• My name: Spencer Fern
• My website: spencerfern.com
• My phone number: XXXXXXXXXX

Here is some info from the machinist I'm considering working with:

Spencer, I think I can even engrave a photograph on the card if you wish. I can convert most graphics files, no need to use AutoCAD but I can convert them too. Illustrator works just fine and I can usually import the images directly into Corel Draw which is the software aI use for about 98% of my applications. I am always looking for an excuse to "tinker" with the settings on the machine and try something new. Did you have anything in mind? I may be able to do up a sample card and mail it to you for comments. If you are doing the entire design youself and simply sending me an image I can reduce the price a bit. If you are ordering 500 I can include a volume discount as well. I am always excited to start on a new project. Thanks for the inquiry Spencer and let me know if I can send you a sample.

Some interesting features might be:

• An interesting or useful stencil.
• Something that will remind people of me, or perhaps even an image of me.
• http://www.spencerfern.com/search/label/pictures might give some inspiration.
• A design that people will want to keep, even if they think I'm a douchebag.

Aside from the contact info, I'm completely flexible on the design. You may have to work with the machinist to tweak your design so it works with the laser cutter. Dana Bishop at http://mamacoke.com/ is who I'm currently planning to use. I'm offering $120 cash. Please send me an email with some samples of your work and ideas. sfern@spencerfern.com

Dread

I was dreading Brazilian Jiu Jitsu tonight, and then I realized, I forgot my gym bag. Three cheers for forgetfulness!

Of course if I hadn't been so tired and sore last night, I probably would have put it in the car then, so I think my body is telling me I need a day off.

Oh well. The thing is, I'm thinking of going to Brazil this summer, and I'd like to have a little bit more skill so that maybe I can train a couple days in the gyms down in Rio.

My skill set right now...I'd just have a bunch of Brazilians choking me over and over, all the while laughing at the big Gringo (or whatever it is in Portuguese.)

Weird dream

I don't have time to describe this dream in full, but here's the gist.

Someone who I barely know, and haven't spoken to much since I was a child, well all of a sudden she was living with me. I wasn't fond of the idea. She's stupid.

So one night all these random people came in to my room and asked if I had seen her, and I was like, "fuck no." Then I hear giggling from under my bed. She was hiding there for no apparent reason.

So I tossed her out. She got really pissed, and went in my bathroom and started spraying my Kiehl's Creme with Silk Groom all over the walls.

After that I was preparing to kill her, but I woke up before I got it done.

Interpretation: I'm a metrosexual sociopath.

Oh yeah

I was dreaming something about peeling the skin off of oddly shaped onions. There was much more to it, but that's all I remember.

Dream memories

May be stored in uric acid. Submit this hypothesis to the Nobel committee.